roses in the bathroom

i work in an office. i spend my day in cubeland, doing the bitch-work of about 100 people in the minneapolis disability claims department of a large international insurance company. sometimes i'm very, very busy all day...and other days i have to fucking pinch myself to stay awake...or at least to keep from snoring too loudly or worse, drooling on my keyboard.

i spend a huge portion of my life in that joint, 40 hours a week to be exact. i spend more time with my coworkers than i do with my family and all of my friends combined. it's so strange. i find myself talking to my coworkers about very personal things, all the time and they reciprocate with tell-all self disclosure...and the odd part is that it really doesn't feel so strange. and yet none of them, with the exception of amber, know anything about me beyond what i choose to disclose in the work context.

anyone who has ever worked in an office for any length of time knows what i'm talking about: offices are strange twilight zone, black hole, crazyass places. there's a whole little world in the office, complete with gossip, politics, advice, compassion, girl scout cookie-selling, and most of all community.

maybe this phenomenon is like confessing your deepest, darkest secrets to the stranger sitting next to you on a plane--there's no threat, and it's "not real" because these people only exist in one context. they are not a part of my life once we're off the 6th floor, but on the 6th floor, goddamn are they important!

i have been walking the line with work friends, daring to "hang out" outside of work...and have developed a good friendship with amber. i've met her friends, seen where she lives & she's met some of my friends and gotten drunk at my apartment. when we come in half-dead every monday morning and regale one another with tales of our respective weekends, we can visualize the madness easily, having witnessed one anther's "real lives" first hand, you know, outside of the office.

for as much as i love to complain about most things, if the truth be told, i'd have to say i really love my job. not just because it's the fucking easiest $14 an hour i've ever made, or for the benefits, or even for the med charts (which are really interesting to read, trust me). i love the people. not the claimants (they often drive me nuts), but my coworkers. people are fascinating. not just the the noteworthy, beautiful few...but everybody. i think perhaps it's the ordinary people, even more than the extraordinary ones, who are the most fascinating. or maybe i just work with a flock of rare birds...(or maybe i just watch too much reality tv)...

my team (and i really do consider us a team) at work includes amber, kim, sreng, norm, vlad, jason, deb (the new lady as of today) and our supervisor karen.

amber: dropped out of college after a year, moved back with her parents in south st. paul, and works at the same company as her mom. she has one of the tightest networks of friends i've ever seen (and i thought i had the monopoly on good friends). she's known these people since childhood, and still lives just down the street from them. for as much as i think most would advocate a change of scenery, new experiences, etc., i also think there is something to be said for life-long solidarity. i think that's pretty damn special, and in this world rather rare. amber has an amazing singing voice. i went to karaoke with her and her friends one night in the fall, and was truly blown away. no hyperbole. she's amazing. the only problem is she doesn't really know it. i'm working on that. in the short time that i've known her, she's been an outstanding friend, always there to listen to my broken-record complaints, and to tell me how amazing i am, even when i feel like the absolute shit of the earth. i try to do the same for her, and i hope i succeed.

kim: is a 30-something lesbian with an 11 year old son conceived in a drunken romp with a friend from high school. she plays hockey, and her team won state in their division this year. she has a fucking zoo in her apartment: 3 cats, a dog, and up until this winter a bunny named princess. she is also one of the kindest, most gentle souls i've ever met, in spite of her know-it-all tendencies. i think she's trying to over-compensate for her self-perceived inadequacies...so i always try to make her feel smart. i talk to her about my classes, and often ask for advice even though i really don't need or want it. sometimes you gotta do that for people. god knows i sometimes need a bit of that myself.

sreng: drives a benz, shops at neiman marcus, and is the receptionist and probably the most dedicated employee in the entire office. her parents have money. sreng, her fiance and her son live with her parents. they'll be moving out, after they get married this summer on a beach in new jersey, where her fiance's parents live. amber and i are in invited to the reception in minnesota. she is 26, but looks about 17. she is an amazing mom, and a great friend. when her and her mom & two siblings lived in rochester when she was in high school, they often stopped at the truckstop in cannon falls for pie when en route to the cities to visit family. sreng is extremely mellow dramatic, and gives her fiance the silent treatment at least once a day. she is also one of the most genuine people i've ever met. i recently learned that she is fluent in chinese.

norm: is one of the most high-strung middle aged men i've ever encountered. he's known to throw temper tantrums, in which boxes end up crushed, files strewn about the floor, and phones end up slammed into receivers. yesterday he was convinced that the world was coming to an end because his tv wasn't working properly, and his long-time, live-in girlfriend terry was apparently in tears over the ordeal. the way he was talking you'd have thought there was a death in the family. you get used to it. norm is perhaps the most loveable of our little crew. he is also the only one who gets away with calling our boss "troll woman" (on account of her short stature, he claims) or "the warden" to her face. he's also diabetic, and makes a production of having to "shoot up" on donut-days. he's a great smoking buddy, and there's no one more fun to "shoot the shit" with.

vlad: fancies himself quite the comedian. he generally keeps to himself, except for occasionally when he comes up with "a zinger." unfortunately no one else in the office speaks russian, and so most of the humor is lost in translation. but you can't help but laugh along with him...his enthusiasm is infectious. he and his wife and son immigrated to the u.s. of a. from ukraine about seven years ago. he's a really nice guy.

jason: wins something on the radio just about every other day. he always has 93x on in his cube, and seriously wins concert tickets, box seats at sporting events, and free hotel stays at least once a week. it's ridiculous. he generally keeps to himself, except to occasionally stand behind doors and jump out at an unsuspecting norm. "he thinks it's so funny to try and give the old guy a heart attack." norm gets a kick out of it too, though he'd never admit it.

deb: started today. she seems pretty cool. amber, kim & i were worried that the new person might "cramp our style," meaning that we'd have to watch our language and turn our music down. but alas, deb seems pretty fun. so far all we know about her is that she's from wisconsin, listens to country music, smokes marlboro lights, lives with her boyfriend and his two kids (both boys, one 11 and the other 4)...but i think she'll fit in well. i'll be training her on wednesday, which should be interesting training someone twice my age. but whatevs.

karen: is super nice, although you don't wanna mess with her. she loovvvesss to tell stories...she always has one to top yours. as far as bosses go, i must say she's pretty fucking great. if you should happen to swing by her cube at any point in the day, you can expect at least a 20-minute storytime (which is fine by me...i'd rather listen to her talk than slave away in file-land). it was her birthday last saturday, her 56th to be exact, and we all got her little presents. she was so touched she almost teared up. no doubt she'll be telling all her friends about how much her employees love her and how great she is because of it. whatever. i'm glad we can give her another story to tell. happy birthday karen.

in the office building, the cleaning staff (which as far as i can tell consists of one very dedicated chick who takes care of all 14 floors) puts fresh flowers in the bathrooms every day. today they were apricot colored roses. goodness knows i have ample time to smell the roses, as i frequent the potties on a nearly hourly basis. amber says i should just move my desk in there...i probably should, i'd get more done that way. at any rate, a place that has roses in the bathroom isn't all that bad.