mothers and daughters

i plan to be a mother someday. not any time in the near future mind you, but someday. i want to adopt at least two children. i hope one of them will be a daughter.

I will show my daughter what it is to say “yes” to self.

She will never see me deny myself anything that I need. I will not be a martyr. I will not be a saint.

I will teach her how to love herself as much as she loves others.

I will not be a “good hostess.”

I will not take the smallest portion; I will not be served last.

I will not use guilt to manipulate.

I will not tell her to go on a diet.

I will not tell her that she would be better if she dropped 15 pounds.

I will not stop her from ordering dessert.

I will not tell her that her interests are trivial, wrong or useless.

She will never hear me say that I hate my body.

I will tell her that her worth is infinite, and dependant upon no one.

She will see me cry, laugh, scream, struggle, succeed. Nothing will be hidden from her.

She will always keep her dignity.

I will always treat her with respect.

I will show her how to indulge her passions. I will indulge mine.

I will read to her and sing to her.

I will listen to her, and take her seriously, even when she is young.

I will not tell her that her life begins when she gets married.

I will tell her that her life began the day she was born.

I will tell her that she is the author of her own life.

I will tell her that there is no shame in asking for help.

And mostly, I will love her all the time without condition, forever.